You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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