rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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