That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
