Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
