i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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