i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
