I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
