Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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