We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
