At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize