My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize