dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
