I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
