I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
are you so shy because you have an std?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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