I love black thongs
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
