wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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