I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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