She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
