I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
