Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
