and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
