the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
