he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
