DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize