i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
