Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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