Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
