we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
