I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize