Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
