wanna go halves on a baby?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think I am morally bankrupt
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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