sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
