This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
