But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
