Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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