They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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