I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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