Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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