dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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