Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
