Where is the hickey?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
