ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
