Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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