Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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