Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
