You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
