I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
