Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
