I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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