I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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