Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
