He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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