I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize