So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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