barbara walters just said penis...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
