she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
