But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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