"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
