he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
