im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize