Jerry, you need to find god
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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