I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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