Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
